I’m about a month away before I have to go back to work. The closer it gets, the more nervous I am. I have always worked since I was 17. I’ve been away from it for 10 months. Things have carried on without me and people have left with new ones arriving in that time.
I worked at my current place for years before I went on maternity leave. I was familiar with everything and everyone. It could be worse and I could be going somewhere new. But it does feel like I’m starting over again, just I already know most of the people I’m working with.
I’ve gotten used to being at home with my daughter, going out with her, using time to meet up with people more often than I ever did when working full time, and adapting to parenthood.
Going back to work is going to change everything again for us. I was one of those people that struggled to get myself ready and out the house to be at work. Now I need to think of sorting an extra person too and the idea of that makes me anxious. I work a drive away where in peak traffic can take a long time. I’m thinking of how I’m going to juggle getting us both up, ready, out the door, drive to grandparents to drop off, tackle the school rush, find somewhere to parallel park in my bigger car (I struggled with my small 3 door), and get through the door ready to start work.
I’m thankful I do only have to go back part time so we still have the beginning of the week to do things together, as well as the weekend with Daddy too when he isn’t working. I’ve been given hours and days I wanted. I know not everyone is able to do that.
Going back to work is something I have to do. I’m glad I saved before I went on maternity because a new baby plus mortgage, bills, food and everyday life takes that pay away. With nothing coming in from my end we wouldn’t be able to do it.
My daughter is going to go to her grandparents while I’m at work. I’m lucky that both my mum and mother in law are around and willing to have her a day each as well as take it in turns for a half day. What would we do if we didn’t have them? I considered nursery but the fees for even a morning once a week add up, and when you take that off of your monthly income you aren’t left with much. I’m wondering how others can do it.
People ask me if I’m worried because I have to leave me daughter, but I respond saying I know she will be fine because she’s with people I trust. It will be good for her to have some time away doing other things. Of course I will want to check up on her during my breaks.
It’s going to feel strange at first. But like when a chapter ends and another one begins, you go with it. It’ll be getting those first few weeks out of the way and then it will probably feel like we never did anything different. Holidays will definitely be something to appreciate and look forward to.